.."Bella laughed. "Stacy the way you're dressed is the only way thatpeople will believe you're a college student. You're clearly in theright uniform. The preschool and daycare uniforms are a lot different,and the regular school aged uniforms all have tartan patterns." You tried all this on before," Amanda reminded me.I squeezed my fists and nodded. "I know..."She passed Bella to Fred who had stood quietly through the exchange."You can get Bella ready on your own, and go get her stuff, right?" I've got it," Fred reassured her. "I'll even make sure to cookdinner!" Now I'm scared," she teased him."Let's triple check your bag real quick Stacy and then let's get out ofhere," she told me.I shook my head with the bunches flopping one more time before walkingover to my desk where my new backpack was sitting next to my old one. Iopened it up and said, "I've got extra diapers, wipes, pens, pencils,notebook... where's my tablet?"She handed it to me along with my phone. I placed the tablet inside. You miserable, fucking piece of shit.’ I try to run out of the room but my dad grabs my hair an pulls me toward him. I cry and scream to get away but it’s no use. He pulls me close and whispers, ‘I wish you were never born.’ He throws me to the ground and screams once more, ‘Get out of my sight. You disgust me.’ All I could do was cry and run to my room. Hard to believe, I know, especially for a preacher. But that is who he was. That was not the first time and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. The next morning during breakfast my mom reminds me of the ‘worldly dangers’ and what I should look out for and that kissing is a ‘gateway’ to other activities including sex. I assured her that I would be true to my beliefs and to my family… but I only half believed the words coming out of my mouth. I liked the physical feelings that Scott gave me and I wanted to explore that more but my parents made me feel guilty about it. Always relating every situation to the church and religion. I had.
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